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The Parent Supplement

Why a Parent Supplement?

 The Brain Highways Parent Supplement is part of our pons course. 

It is 100% unique—in its premise, materials, and implementation—and appears as a separate multimedia link that offers 13 audio clips, a Parent Supplement Handbook, a Rewiring Parenting Circuits Exercise, and support handouts.

The focus of this enrichment supplement is to teach parents how to “rewire” their parenting circuits in order to have the most positive interaction with their kids.

We include this component because we believe it’s paramount to getting maximum results. Moreover, we’re unlike programs that require the child to make all the changes. That’s because we know the most effective changes happen when both parents and their kids re-organize their brain.
 
In fact, it’s the parents who play the most influential role in changing kids’ undesirable behaviors. For example, in our 13 years of experience, we’ve never known kids to wake up and suddenly act as others hope.  But we have noted, time and time again, how positive changes suddenly appear—once parents have rewired their own parenting circuits.

Premise of the Parent Supplement

Our Parent Supplement is based on the following:

  • A child’s behavior is the result of how his brain is currently organized and what he’s learned from others interacting with him over time.
     
  • Most parents haven’t been taught which undesirable behaviors are learned and which truly reflect underdeveloped lower centers of the brain. Often, parents even have these two reversed. Consequently, they hold kids accountable for what they’re not yet wired to do, but do not hold them responsible for what they can do.  Not surprisingly, neither yields positive interactions.
     
  • Our subconscious messages are directly linked to our kids’ behavior.
     
  • We can rewire a brain so that it is more positively wired.
     
  • We can learn a myriad of specific techniques that help kids become self-invested in behaviors we’d like them to adopt—but such methods are ineffective unless we first change prior perceptions and learn how our thoughts and actions are interlaced with our child’s behaviors.

Expecting Compliance

At Brain Highways, we stand by the statement that all kids—regardless of whether they have underdeveloped lower centers of the brain or a formal diagnosis—can do what we ask, the first time, 100% of the time. We also believe that kids actually feel more secure when such expectations are in place.

To clarify, we’re not talking about asking kids to do something that’s not within the scope of their current brain organization (e.g. make eye contact, follow multi-step directions, sit still). Rather, we’re talking about expecting kids to comply when we know with confidence they’re able to do what we’ve asked.
 
So, the million dollar question is: How do we get kids to comply 100% of the time? The answer is: When they trust us to lead.

Of course, that begets the next question: How do they trust us to lead?

Well, we take two, comprehensive 8-week courses to fully answer that question.  But much of that answer has to do with replacing prior negative thoughts and perceptions—about ourselves as parents and our kids—with a more positive framework.
 
The Subconscious Link

We process 11 million bits of information per second in our subconscious mind, as compared to just 40 bits of information in our conscious mind. With those statistics, there’s no way our subconscious isn’t also at play with our daily interactions. 

That’s why the first part of rewiring our parenting circuits begins with awareness of how our thoughts are directly related to our child’s undesirable behaviors. 

For example, suppose we (as parents) admit we’ve thought this at times: I’m exhausted doing so much for my child. I need a break!

But here’s what we may not realize. Although, we may not actually say those words to our child, his subconscious mind still senses the message.  Since we’re feeling overwhelmed, we may on occasion even say, “Leave me alone!”  

The problem is . . . those direct and indirect messages may be interpreted differently in our child’s mind.  He may think there’s something unlovable about him (since his parent wants time away from him).  Or, he may become worried that his parent is not going to be “on duty”—and that really concerns him.

So, now the child acts on his thoughts. He may become exceptionally clingy (which is ironic if that was one of the behaviors contributing to our original unproductive thought), or he escalates a myriad of his worst negative behaviors (to ensure we don’t go off duty and he’s all on his own).

Yet, here’s what becomes really clear in our Brain Highways Parent Supplement: Our child’s unproductive behaviors are not random or genetic or the result of a diagnosis.  Rather, there is a direct thread from what we think to how our child acts.

This fact is not intended to place blame or judgment. Rather we view this truth as great news. After all, once we learn how to reframe unproductive thoughts to positive ones, we can now send different messages. With our new thoughts, we act and respond to our child differently. And voila! We see positive changes in our child’s behavior.

Yes, we’re talking about eradicating behaviors such as screaming, yelling, hitting, procrastinating, whining, and more . . . . after we rewire our parenting circuits.

However, shifting to a more positively wired brain is a process that takes time.  For example, we don’t just come up with “Pollyanna” statements to replace old unproductive thoughts. 

Instead, we follow a set process that’s outlined in the Parent Supplement. By doing so, we ultimately arrive at positive thoughts that are both believable and doable—two important criterion—to our brain. This then lays the groundwork for implementing specific actions that then further ensure positive interactions.

Parent Reflections after Rewiring Their Parent Circuits

After parents have completed all parts and stages of the Parent Supplement, they often share not only changes in their kids, but also the changes in themselves. 

Comments usually reflect themes such as parents:
  • no longer feel hopeless about their child’s future
  • have confidence in their ability to stay focused on the positive
  • can let go of being attached to a specific outcome (which then used to guarantee a judgment if it didn’t go as hoped)
  • take great pleasure in having their child now trust them to lead
  • feel empowered by differentiating between learned behaviors and those reflective of underdeveloped lower centers of the brain—and know how to respond accordingly to each
In general, parents no longer have a sense of helplessness and no longer feel powerless to bring about positive changes in their home.  In fact, our Brain Highways parents often claim that other professionals (who work with their kids) now come to them for advice.
 
In short, the Parent Supplement gives us the tools to be our child’s best advocate and a true catalyst for bringing about positive changes in our home.