Changes in Parents' Perception
Since parents are also our program participants, they’re additionally asked to respond to questions related to their own changes at the midpoint of the pons session. At this time, their kids have completed 12 hours of lower brain development.
When reading the responses below, there may initially seem like a contradiction of perceptions. Some comments state how parents now have higher expectations and therefore hold their children more accountable, while other comments focus on how parents have become more compassionate and lenient.
Yet both kinds of comments reflect what Brain Highways parents learn by participating in the program. In the early stages of brain organization, it is very important to distinguish between what can and cannot be expected of children at any particular level of development. The Brain Highways program teaches parents how to provide a balance of accountability and tolerance (and the wisdom to know when to apply each).
Last, consider the following: Even if the children in the quotes below never build another highway, their lives have already improved because their parents have changed both their perception and the way they respond.
Click on each category below to read a sampling of the parents’ responses. These exact quotes reflect typical answers from more than 1,500 questionnaires that we have collected at this 12-hour marker.
Higher Expectations
I realize that I had “bought” into her diagnosis of Attachment Disorder to the extent that I allowed her to treat the entire family with great disrespect; I now use some of the Brain Highways creative techniques to hold her accountable for rudeness.
I’m no longer getting stuck on, “He’s autistic so he’ll never . . . “
I will no longer allow others to put limits on my child.
I hold my child more accountable. When we have a child with special needs, it seems we (me) are more forgiving when it comes to unacceptable behavior. Now I view not holding her accountable as giving the message that she is not even worthy enough to expect more.
Tolerance and Compassion
I’m more patient, knowing that certain behaviors (that I think are annoying) are to be expected when the lower centers of the brain are not developed.
I’m less frustrated when he can’t do something I think he should be able to do.
I’m more tolerant, realizing that noncompliance may be more of a brain input problem than my child is just being defiant for no reason at all.
I have a better understanding of how the brain works with the eyes, so I’m more patient when she skips over words when reading aloud.
I have a new appreciation of what it must be like for my child to learn, stay focused all day at school, and then come home and do homework.
I now believe that no child is too hyper, too loud, too autistic, too uncontrollable—all kids want to comply if the brain is able to do so.
What I used to think was concerning behavior, I now see as typical behavior of an underdeveloped pons—and I know that such behavior will go away as it becomes developed.
I understand that there is a reason for every behavior (i.e. the brain is needing something) and approach it from that perspective, rather than thinking my child is defiant, uncooperative, or lazy.
Daily Interactions
I’m no longer willing to engage in an argument; I use other Brain Highways strategies that move us forward.
I’m using more humor to thwart a possible blow-up.
I now combine vestibular and proprioceptive activities with homework—and it goes so much better!
I’ve expanded my possible choices of responses to get cooperation for tasks that my child perceives as unpleasant or difficult.
I give my child more breaks when he is doing homework.
I get that repeating the same speeches and consequences got us nowhere; I now try the various Brain Highways approaches, as needed.
I recognize when he’s out of gas, and then don’t keep pushing him to do more.
I lessen my child’s need to compensate by not putting him in situations that I know he’s not yet ready to handle.
I’m now focusing on the positive and have stopped pointing out the negatives.
I realize how difficult it is for her to stay alert when she’s asked to sit still, so I allow her to rock.
I try to find ways to tighten our daily structure so that there will be less need to compensate.
I’m proving a calmer, yet firmer structure.
I make sure that I’m directly in front of my child (when talking to him) and also use tactile stimuli so that he can process what I’m saying.
I used to think my child procrastinated; now I provide child more structure to help her start a task.
